Through IMDb, I just discovered that Cannonball! was directed by Paul Bartel one year after Death Race 2000, which I was going to compare this film to, seeing as how they're both 70's carsploitation (I just made that word up.) flicks, starring David Carradine. It's been a few years since I've seen Death Race 2000, but I think it did everything right where Cannonball! did everything wrong. Race is funny, gory, sexy and endlessly entertaining; while Cannonball! is sloppy, boring and dull. Yeah, boring and dull are the same thing, but I couldn't come up with any more adjectives to describe this cinematic turd. There is no way I should be bored by an exploitation flick, it totally defeats the purpose.

David Carradine is Coy "Cannonball" Buckman, an ex-con and ex-professional race car driver, who wants to race his flame orange Firebird in in the illegal Cannonball Run across the country. Unwillingly along for the ride is his parole officer and girlfriend, one in the same. Since he's the favorite to win, he's got everybody gunning for him, including a gangster who's laid a big bet on another driver. It's a pretty basic set-up, that should provide for some fun, mindless entertainment. There's a couple of good scenes, which I'll post below, but that's about it. The rest of the film is incredibly dull, the racing scenes are mostly uninspired, the acting hovers between good and bad, so you can't get into the characters, but you can't laugh at the actors ineptitude. The score is an earful of awful, it sounds like it was ripped straight from a 70's porn movie that the composer was working on at the same time.

Don't bother in the least. Watch Death Race 2000 again, or one of the other 100 better 70's car-chase films, like Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry, The Vanishing Point, or Bullit. Or if you're in the mood for an 80's comedy version of the Cannonball Run, than check out the ultimate guilty-pleasure film, Cannonball Run, featuring Burt Reynolds in his charismatic prime. - Grade: D

In this scene David Carradine uses some of his Kung Fu skills to beat down a fake cop, sent to take him out of the race. I love the way Carradine pauses for a second before unleashing a fury of kicks.



Here Carradine's had enough of his main rival in the race, Cade Redman, and decides to dispatch him. He jumps an unfinished bridge 20 years before Speed. It's easily the best put together scene in the film, if all the chase scenes in this film had this kind of energy, it'd be a cult-classic.



This has got to be the most ridiculous car crash scene in the history of cinema. It just goes on and on, with cars crashing into each other long after everyone should have stopped. Each collision ending in a huge fireball. It's cheesily entertaining though, I'll admit.

Way behind on my reviews, I want to offer up some quick thoughts on the big summer films I saw. Writing the 10,000th review of these films seems like a waste of time, I'd rather focus on something you may not have seen or even heard of yet. But it's my compulsion to write about every movie I watch, so I have to say something. Overall I thought this was the best summer movie season of the decade. I didn't see anything truly terrible, which was a surprise, and there were a couple of near masterpieces. I enjoyed to loved all the following films: Wall-E, Speed Racer, Kung Fu Panda, Iron Man and Forgetting Sarah Marshall


The Dark Knight

Without a doubt the best film of the summer, which is obvious from the reviews and the box office. Writer/Director Christopher Nolan crafted an epic crime film, that just happens to be about Batman. I loved Heath Ledger's wonderfully calculated over-the-top performance as the Joker. I love how they crafted him to be unbelievably evil for no real reason, we don't get the whole back-story, he just is. Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent & Two Face, is almost equally as good, his switch from white knight to villain is really the heart of the film. If I had any complaint, is that they didn't focus enough on Batman, he seems secondary at times. And the whole cell phone bit, acting as a world-wide sonar, seemed too far fetched. But this is a nearly perfect film, even at two and a half hours, it flies by. I made the rare second trip to the theater to see it again. - Grade: A (Seen on 7/18/08 & 8/10/08)


Wanted

As much as I like to see Angelina Jolie kick ass, I mainly wanted to see this film because of director Timur Bekmambetov. His Russian film Nightwatch is one of the most visually inventive films I've ever seen. With a relatively low-budget, he created some of the most superb action sequences ever put to film. I couldn't wait to see what he did with a Hollywood budget, and the film didn't disappoint on the action side. I like that they immediately set-up that this is a world where the fantastic can happen. Within the first 5 minutes, there is a guy jumping out a skyscraper window, taking out snipers with his handgun as he flies between buildings. Setting up the rest of the film, so we can believe that people can bend bullets and flip cars willy-nilly like. I liked James McAvoy, even though his American accent kept slipping, as the everyday schlep, who learns he comes from a long line of super-assassins. It's definitely a turn-your-brain-off-and-enjoy-the-ride kind of film, and I had fun with it as that. - Grade: B (Seen on 7/5/08)


Hancock

Will Smith has always been hit or miss for me. Sometimes I think he's great, his smart-ass attitude really made the Men in Black films, but those same characteristics completely ruined I, Robot. In the past few years I think he's shown a bit more range, he showed good range in Pursuit of Happyness, and I thought he did a good job with I Am Legend, not ruining it with horribly out of place jokes.

Hancock looked interesting to me, mainly because it was a superhero film, that didn't have a comic behind it, a totally fresh character. I also liked that he was reluctant about his powers, that he really only uses them for good when he has too. And I would imagine that somebody so powerful would feel alone in this world. In the end I liked that the explanation for his powers was so different than any other superhero story, no radioactive cockroach or nuclear testing gone wrong. The film moves along quickly and is fairly entertaining, but it wasn't good enough for me to want to see Hancock 2. - Grade: B- (Seen on 7/5/08)


Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Visually, Guillermo del Toro is one of the best directors around. He creates absolutely breathtaking scenes. And Hellboy II is full of them. I especially loved the scene were Hellboy and crew visit the Troll market. It's like the Star Wars cantina on acid. There are literally hundreds of fantastically out-there creatures to gawk at, most of them walking around in the background. I can't wait to get the DVD, just so I can pause it and get a better look. I also fell in love with the opening scene where Hellboy's adoptive father is telling him the story about the Golden Army. Guillermo uses what looks like Tim Burton stop-motion animation, but is probably computer generated, to show the story of how the magical world came to an end.

I liked the story of how this Elf Prince wants to bring back the magical world to what it once was, show the humans whose boss. It's interesting to see Hellboy struggle with his conscience about whether he should join the Elf, because most humans have shunned him and he clearly belongs to the magical side. With him ultimately deciding to fight for humanity. The film kind of grinds to a halt anytime there's a love scene, either between Hellboy and Liz or Abe Sabien and the Elf Princess. But Overall I dug Hellboy II, much more than the first film, it felt more well rounded, and is a rip-roaring adventure. - Grade: B (Seen on 7/10/08)


Tropical Thunder

Ben Stiller is a very underrated director. His films Zoolander and The Cable Guy, both rate as great comedies in my book. So I was very excited to see him at the helm of this action-comedy, with him, Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr. in front of the camera. A real comedy dream team. I enjoyed the film, but didn't think it was as funny as advertised. It was almost like Stiller was more concerned about the action scenes.

Although it may be one of those comedies you have to see a few times to truly appreciate. Thinking about it now, brings a lot of laughs to mind. Everybody was raving about Tom Cruise's appearance as the extremely angry, fat-balding studio boss, which I definitely give him props for. It's great to see him out of his usual role. But I think Danny McBride's role as the film crew's explosive expert got more laughs per line. Between this and the following film, the guy shows some serious comedic chops. And I can't forget about the brilliantly hilarious fake trailers at the beginning of the film, that perfectly set-up each of the main characters roles. I guess it was funnier than I originally remembered, and I'm looking forward to sitting down with some friends and watching it again. - Grade: B (Seen on 8/23/08)

Pineapple Express

This wrapped up the summer of 2008 films, at least those that were worth seeing. Seth Rogen has built himself a nice career as the shlubby stoner type that appears in Judd Apatow films, and his role as Dale in Pineapple Express is probably the pinnacle of said type-casting. He's a lovable loser, a wastoid and an action star all in one. I've always thought that James Franco had a lot of potential as an actor, but he's been stuck in pretty-boy roles for a while. He's hilarious here as Saul, an obvious take-off on Brad Pitt in True Romance, the drug dealer who gets into deep trouble with Dale.

I really had a lot of fun following these two stoners around as numerous people get beat-up and killed around them. Again Danny McBride nearly steals the show, or at least every scene he's in. Towards the end the three make the most unlikely group of action heroes in the history of film, taking on a gang of drug dealers and the Yakuza at the same time. Perhaps the most surprising thing about this film is that it was directed by David Gordon Green, who's known for intimate and talky indie films. This was so far outside his style, but he brings a great kinetic energy to the whole thing. It'd probably be more enjoyable toking up some Pineapple Express first, but even sober, it's a fun ride. - Grade: B (Seen on 9/6/08)

(Seen on 5/2/08) I'm going to try an experiment here. Since I've gotten so far behind on my reviews, why not kill two birds with one stone and write my review while watching. Most likely this review will end up being about twice as long as my normal, already longish reviews. I'm going to start with Rambo. Why? Because it's brainless enough to watch and type at the same time.(And I only thought of this idea yesterday.) I'm not a huge fan of the Rambo series, though my favorite Stallone flick is probably First Blood; I've honestly never sat down and watched part 2 or 3 all the way through. I've seen so much of each, in so many sections that I feel like I've seen them, although I couldn't tell you what exactly happened in either one. When I first heard about them making Rambo 4, I thought what a lame idea. But after the fairly successful Balboa film written and directed by Stallone, and the very bloody online teaser for Rambo (see it below) I started to get excited.

So what happened so far is that, we've seen some news footage and some senseless torture of the natives of Burma to get our ire up. Now we're getting some sensitive shots of Rambo working with the land and the people. Hell, he just shot a fish with an arrow, then gave it to a cute little boy. So he's a much kinder, gentler Rambo now... but obviously that ain't gonna last.

Directed by: Sylvester Stallone - I never thought those words would give me confidence. The first laugh; "Fuck the world." That was Rambo's response to a guy trying to ask for help to get their church group up the river to bring supplies to the poor citizens of Burma. Now the good looking chick is trying to sway him, but he's still refusing, telling her to go home. Cut to: him taking them up the river, I guess she persuade him after all. Ah hell, Burmese pirates are pulling up aside them, threatening to take the woman. Damn. Rambo shot eight of them in three seconds flat. Amazingly the woman, Sarah, wants to keep going. Probably not a wise decision.

The group is now taking their medical supplies into the jungle and Rambo's heading home. Now he's burning the pirate's boat and bodies, I guess cause one of the guys threatened to report him when they got back. Boom! Village getting the crap blown out of it, and just guess what idiots are caught in the middle of it. Pretty brutal scene, kids getting shot, legs getting blown off, another kid just got thrown into a fire, blood everywhere. Soft sensitive music, and more people dying. Sarah's down, but amazingly not hurt among all the bullets and explosions. These guys better hope that Rambo doesn't catch wind.

Rambo's having war flashbacks, conveniently they have clips from the previous movies to fill us in. That didn't take long, there's a guy waking him up to tell him that the group's missing. Obviously his little crush has come into play. Manly stuff. Pounding out metal to make a machete. "Killing's as easy as breathing." Now he's taking some mercenaries up the river to save the group, they're talking a bunch of shit, but obviously Rambo could kick any of their asses, he's keeping his mouth closed for now. Somebody better not step on his toes.

"The Boatman stays with the boat." Rambo just offered to come along to fight and the mercenaries turned him down. Obviously they haven't seen First Blood. These guys ain't exactly the group from Predator, one head on a stick and they're ready to head home. Some Burmese army assholes are playing a sick game with their prisoners, betting on who'll step on an underwater mine. Splat... arrow through the head. Rambo's arrived, ready to kick ass, and show these pussies how to fight. "Live for nothing or die for something, your call."

They're sneaking around the prison-camp, freeing the hostages, getting ready for the attack. Sarah's about to get raped, Rambo doesn't like that, and out comes the machete, but instead he rips out the guy's throat with his bare hands, nice bloody choice. Slooowwww motion jump to save Sarah from gunfire, but a sniper takes out the gunmen before Rambo takes the bullet. Morning. The army has discovered the prisoners are missing, and is chasing them all into the jungle.

(Seen on 5/22/08) Originally I was very against the idea of another Indiana Jones film. (I even thought it was a bad idea 10 years ago when the rumors first started popping up.) It was way too long since the last one; Spielberg is a different filmmaker and Harrison Ford is way too old. I saw no way of them pulling it off with the same style and panache that marked the first three films. Raiders of the Lost Ark is my all time favorite action film, it's so perfect in so many ways, those action scenes will live forever as some of the greatest ever made. Temple of Doom is a very fun follow-up, much darker in many ways, but again it has incredible action scenes and furthers Indy's legend. And I thought that The Last Crusade, while the least effective of the three, was a great send off; where we get to learn about where Indy came from and he has a great adventure with his father. I didn't see where another film could fit in. But as time went on, and the great teaser trailer came out for Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, I'll admit that the kid in me was yearning to see another Indiana Jones adventure. So it was with great excitement that I went to opening night. (The first big premiere I'd been to since the last Lord of the Rings.)

One of the things that worried me when I initially heard about the making of this film, was that I thought they'd try to ignore that Harrison Ford is nearly 20 years older. But they make it part of the film, with a couple of good jokes about Indy's age. I especially liked that they moved the action into the 50's, no longer is Indy fighting the Nazis, now he's got the Russian communists, which proves to be almost as great a set of villains. They were able to incorporate nuclear testing, the red scare, hot rods and make Indy's sidekick a motorcycle-riding greaser.

That was another thing I was skeptical about, Shia LaBeouf. I really like him, I think he's one of the most charismatic young actors around, but I thought he'd seem too anachronistic, that he wouldn't be able to play the era. But he did a great job fitting in, I think Lucas and his American Graffiti knowledge of the era, helped him find his character Mutt. It's fairly obvious who he is, and I'm glad they didn't drag out the surprise for too long.

I dug the other characters as well. It was cool to have Karen Allen back as Marion Ravenwood, always Indy's best girl. Ray Winstone was a lot of fun as Mac, the flip-flopping sidekick, who you're never quite sure which side he's on. John Hurt does the nutty- professor thing to perfection as Ox, who's spent too much time around the crystal skull, and has had his brain fried in the process. Best of all the new characters was Cate Blanchet, as Dr. Irina Spalko, equally evil and sexy, a completely memorable villain. She was so good, I'd consider the best of the series since Raiders' Colonel Dietrich. Having a great villain is paramount to these turn-your-brain off adventures, there has to be someone truly evil to root against.

There were a couple of really great action sequences; I particularly liked the truck chase through the jungle, while nowhere near as classic as the chase is in Raiders, it reminded me of it. Only one thing bothered me while watching it, the use of CGI. It was very apparent in a couple of instances and that took me out of the scene. But I won't completely denounce their use of it in the film, it's simply another tool; one that's pretty unavoidable these days; and the gruesomely-awesome scene with the giant-killer-ants,my favorite moment in the film, couldn't have been done without it.

I walked out of the theater totally satisfied with this new Indy adventure, and only one scene bugged me while watching the film. Which was Mutt swinging through the trees with a bunch of digital monkeys, too ridiculous, even for an Indiana Jones film. It wasn't till later, when I got a chance to reflect on the film, that more things started not to work for me. The entire end of the film, seems way too out there, and didn't seem the right fit for a series ground in earthly matters. Though I must admit, it fits nicely into Spielberg's filmography.

I can’t believe that the whiny lead character from Swingers, ended up directing the biggest film of the summer. It’s amazing; and goes to show you never know what people’s hidden talents are. Jon Favreau, A guy who had limited range as an actor, is now one of the top directors in Hollywood, and after Iron Man, can have his pick of projects. But it’s well deserved, he showed great comedic timing with his Christmas film Elf, made a better version of Jamanji with Zathura, and shows he has an adept talent with action in Iron Man. I was really surprised by how well rounded the film is, and I think that’s why it connected with audiences so well. We’ve become so sick of the mindless action scenes and huge explosions, that when there’s a character to connect to behind it, it becomes much more enjoyable.

A lot of the success of Iron Man also goes to Robert Downey Jr.. Always a talented actor, but with his drug problem over the years, was never given a chance to really shine in a lead role in a huge film. With Tony Stark, the weapons designer billionaire, who becomes Iron Man, he gets a character with a bit of an arc, something sort of rare in the superhero realm. He starts off as the ultimate playboy, bedding any beautiful women he wants, driving his elite sports car, to his futuristic mansion in the hills of L.A., but when he’s caught as a prisoner of war, and gets to see what happens when his weapons are used for evil, his mission in life changes, and he becomes Iron Man.

It’s great to watch him actually pound out the metal, in the catacombs of a terrorist hive, and then his genius to build the ultimate weapon, which he uses to escape. Once back home, with the best technology in the world at his fingertips, he builds an even better version, one which can fly at supersonic speeds. They take enough time and caring in building up to the end version of Iron Man that you can believe in him flying around, taking on military jets, and possibly even surviving the brain crushing G-forces of some of his maneuvers. Once the real bad-guy reveals himself, and it’s about as surprising as Jeff Bridges' head is shiny, it’s great fun to watch Iron Man battle it out with an even bigger version of his weapon.

The film has some really great casting, Downey, especially; he’s charming, funny, handsome, but most of all he brings a humanity to this superhero. I think it’s the best casting ever for a superhero, and without him, Iron Man wouldn’t have been the same film. I also really dug Gwyneth Paltrow, as Pepper Potts, his long time assistant and forbidden love interest. They have great chemistry together, and Gwyneth gets to use some of that movie star shine, that she’s been hiding for the last few years. Terrance Howard is good as Col. Rhodes, the guy who always does everything by the book. And it was particularly fun to watch Bridges as the industrialist bad guy; you could tell he relished in playing something besides the sensitive man-child roles he's had since The Big Lebowski.

Ultimately Iron Man proves how great of a director Farveau is. He adeptly mixes, humor, romance, drama and huge action scenes together, actually making it feel like one organic film. So often these scenes clash together in these huge action films, either the humor or the drama doesn’t work, and we’re stuck watching carelessly as things blow-up around the heroes we don’t care about. Here we’re laughing at Tony Stark one minute, falling in love with Pepper Potts the next, then flying off to the middle east to blow away terrorists and actually caring about the people that Iron Man is saving. The film has a mixed message, condemning weapons, then wowing us with the huge battles, but that’s about the only true problem with the film. It’s not a perfect film, some of the scenes are unnecessary or drag on for too long, but for a huge summer blockbuster about a superhero, it’s a refreshing change of pace. The film is well thought out and superbly put together, with some actual care for the characters and the audience that is watching. – Grade: B+

Why do we like revenge films? Is it a violent urge inside all of us, to harm someone that did us wrong? I believe that movies let us live out fantasies that we otherwise wouldn't get to. Whether that be travel, sexual, violence or a million other possibilities. I think most humans are full of anger, it's simply part of being human; looking at our history, it's impossible to ignore. Now that most of us are domesticated, happy to live in harmony with our neighbors, we live it out through the movies. That's why films from Death Wish to Sweeney Todd exist, we get to see the guy who's been stepped on, get his revenge. It pleases our deepest instincts. (At least that's what I tell myself, when I cheer inside, when some guy gets brutally killed.)

So it was with those thoughts I went into Death Sentence. I've always liked Kevin Bacon, he's one of the industries most reliable actors, popping up in just about anything, always giving a good, believable performance. Director James Wan has caught my attention over the last few years; busting out with Saw, his original being the only worthwhile of the bunch, and I was one of the few people that really dug his killer puppet film Dead Silence. He's got a good eye, and a talent for building suspense and action scenes. I figured the two couldn't go wrong in revenge mode, and I was mostly right.

Bacon plays Nick Hume, an executive, a dedicated husband and father of two, you couldn't ask for a much plainer fellow. He takes great pride in the fact that his older son Brendan is a top-notch high school hockey player. He has hopes for him to get a college scholarship and maybe go pro one day. Everything changes one night, when the two stop at a gas station on the wrong side of town. Brendan is mercilessly killed by a young gang member, doing so, simply to be fully initiated into the gang. When the DA tells this grieving father, that since he's the only witness, the most he can hope for is a few years behind bars for the murdering bastard.

Pissed beyond belief at a justice system gone wrong, Nick has the judge throw out the case. And decides to take the law into his own hands! I mean really, is there any other option? Nick proceeds to track down the kid and kill him a few nights later. Being a novice at it, he does so pretty sloppily, leaving behind enough evidence for the cops and the kid's brother/gang-leader to be on his ass. I liked actor playing the brother, Garrett Hedlund, he has the angry-young-man bit down well. But the main cop, played by Aisha Tyler, is a drag every time she's on camera, I didn't buy her as a cop for a second. Nick has to distract the cops and fight the gang off the best he can, and his world begins to quickly unravel.

There's a pretty great scene, when the gang finds Nick after work and they chase him through the alleys of downtown, into a parking structure, ending with Nick rolling a parked car from the top floor with one of the gang members still inside. The entire thing gets way out of hand, ruining his good name, and putting the rest of his family in jeopardy. The film's ending is about as big a downer as you could find in these films, which is really saying something.

Death Sentence isn't going to knock anyone's socks off. It's not breaking any new ground. The action scenes are fairly well done, and they're fun to watch. But it's tough to believe some of the things Nick puts his surviving family through, in order to get his justice. And the way the initial murder is set-up, it's not enough to get you totally riled up for his eventual revenge. You actually kind of feel bad for the guys he's chasing down and I think that's maybe the feeling they were going for, trying not to paint it in black and white. But the film isn't built well enough for us to feel a full set of emotions, mostly you just want to see Bacon kick ass. If you're into revenge films, you could do a lot worse; but there are a ton of them out there far more satisfying and better mad. - Grade: C+

This is one of those films that is so middle of the road that it'll be tough to review. I didn't hate the film, but I didn't particularly like it either. It was mildly diverting in an non-insulting manner, but also completely forgettable. Which makes it tough to write about because I didn't form a lot of opinions while I was watching it.

Mostly War wasn't the film I was expecting. From the trailers it looked like a non-stop action film, full of kung-fu and gun fights. Which there are elements of, but not as much as I hoped for. With Jason Statham, the star of the Transporter and Jet Li, one of the greatest kung-fu stars ever, and a title like War, I was expecting 90 minutes of over-the-top battles. But there's a lot of story-development, which isn't usually a bad thing, but honestly there's too much for a film of this type. I don't want to watch Statham and Li talk out their problems.

Statham plays a rogue FBI agent, is there any other kind in these films? Who's after the master-assassin, Jet Li, who killed his partner at the beginning of the film. The funny thing is that Li starts to play the Yakuzas against the Triads, two mafia clans, who Statham has been trying to take down on his own. He begins to question what's really going on, while also trying to catch Li. They're both so busy with the mafia battles, that they don't get a chance to face off until the final scene of the film. Which is what's to be expected, but I thought there would be some warm up fights as well.

I actually didn't see the final twist coming, which was done pretty well, but the film wasn't entertaining enough up to that point to keep my full attention, so that I honestly didn't care by the end. If they're going to sell a film as an all-out-action film, they better be able to back it up. But the film, while having a couple of decently done scenes, has too much story and talking, that isn't done well enough to care about. They hardly have Jet Li do any kung-fu fighting, he uses his guns far more than his fists. I was hoping for a lot more battles between Statham and Li, their final fight scene is fun, but it takes far too long to get there. War is not bad, not good, a completely forgettable action flick without enough action. - Grade: C

The last thing the Internet needs is another fanboy fawning over the greatness that is 300, so I'll keep this short. I originally saw it in the theater and instantly fell in love with it. I don't rewatch a lot of movies these days, so it's saying something when I revisited it on DVD; and I'm sure once my son is old enough to watch it, I'll see it many more times, as it'll be something I'll be excited to show him.

Director Zach Snyder has created something fully unique, that I expect will be copied to death in the coming years. It's an absolutely gorgeous film, with a true artists eye; each frame flips by with near perfection, the entire film looks like it's been painted by a master artist. The over-stylized violence is beautifully realized; strong camera angles, beautiful sepia-tone photography shocked with bright red splashes of blood, edited in very tight and fun fashion. It's about as close to watching a comic book as you can get. I don't need to go on, and honestly I'm having a hard time expressing my feelings about this almost perfect film. It might have lost some of it's power, through all the mocking it's received in the last year; but it'll be remembered long after those jokes die.

I'm really looking forward to Snyder's next film Watchmen, it's one of the few graphic novels I've read in my life and I believe that Snyder is the perfect filmmaker to capture this already greatly realized world. I had no idea who he was before his first film, the remake Dawn of the Dead, which I originally thought it was a bad idea; but after seeing Snyder's re-imagining of this zombie classic, it quickly became my 2nd favorite zombie film (after Return of the Living Dead), and made me realize I had another director to watch for. With 300, he more than proved that worth, and I greatly hope that he can keep it up with Watchmen and beyond. - Grade: A

Not so long ago I had great hopes for director Doug Liman. Right out of the gate, he directed Swingers, one of the seminal films of the 90's; still quoted greatly 12 years later. A few years later, he made another great film of the 90's in Go, it defined the rave scene, and has become much more appreciated over the years. Both were in the indie-filmmaking mold, and it was understanding when he wanted to jump into big budget Hollywood stuff; and he did so to great effect with The Bourne Identity, which proved the world that Matt Damon could be an action star, and made the Bond films feel outdated on the spot. Then he made the big-budget mess Mr. & Mrs. Smith; it had some decent action scenes, an okay chemistry between Pitt and Jolie, but both who spent way too much time mugging for the camera; all in all, a pretty forgettable film. Now with Jumper, he's sunk to a new low and made an okay sci-fi-action flick that could have been made by any Hollywood hack director.

What's so wrong with that you might ask? I have no problem with directors like Brett "Rush Hour" Ratner, Tim "Fantastic Four" Story, and Jon "National Treasure" Turteltaub; guys who make passable Hollywood action films, stuff that isn't terrible, but also never knock it out of the park. With his first three films Liman hit a home run, and gave me great hopes for more wonderful films to come, but with his last two, he seems content with a single; not swinging for anything grander. He's quickly devolved from classics to instantly forgettable. But he's got a long career ahead of him, and he'll hopefully get back to something more worthy of his time; although I see Jumper 2 is already lined up. Enough about Liman... on to the review!

I thought that the premise of Jumper was a pretty cool idea; that and Liman's involvement made it enough for me to make a trip to the theater. I don't believe I've ever seen a film about a guy with the power of teleportation. What would he do? Where would he go? It's pretty much any young man's dream. And like any young man, David Rice, played Hayden "Whiny Anakin" Christensen, decides to rob banks and live life to the fullest. I mean how cool would it be to wake up in New York, surf Hawaii in the morning, have a picnic in Egypt, party it up in Paris that nigh, without ever stepping on a plane? A nifty plot device. The problem with the film is that it never really evolves beyond that.

All the effects are top notch; and I'm very glad that they made the decision to actually shoot in most of the places, (unlike the craptastic Bucket List) which made it very fun and beautiful to watch, as he instantly pops in and out of all these exotic locations. There's one very cool sequence towards the end, where David chases Griffin, his teleportating nemesis, through a dozen locations throughout the world. It's so chaotic, that it's almost mesmerizing. But that's all the film has to offer; cool locations, fun effects, and some decent action scenes.

The love story between David and Millie, played by the beautifully bland Rachel Bilson, is booooring! Absolutely no chemistry between these two dead-wood actors. When Millie was in danger, I had zero care if she lived or died. Sam Jackson's rocking some bright white hair for unknown reasons, and his motivations for chasing David around the world are even more unclear; his great efforts to put a stop to his teleporting, are summed up in one sentence from the trailer about how "only God should have such powers." There is no explanation for his group of Paladins, who track down and kill teleporters. They don't seem to have any Government ties, my only thought was that they are religious zealots who don't want anybody but God jumping around the world wily-nilly like. I needed to understand a little, to care why they were going to such lengths to track these guys down.

As it is, Jumper is a decent, brainless action film; if you don't look beyond the surface you can have fun with these guys jumping through the world, throwing buses at the bad guys, dodging electrified whips, and living it up like nobody's business. But when there is no reason to care about why these amazing things are happening, it becomes forgettable. The Bourne Identity made us care about an assassin with amnesia, so we felt something during the amazing Mini car chase through Paris, it wasn't simply action for actions sake. And unfortunately, that's all Jumper is; fast moving action and loud sounds, it distracts us for a while, but fades away as soon as it's over. - Grade: C+

Poor Philip K. Dick, between Next and Paycheck; Hollywood owes him a million apologies. Both of these films should have his name forcibly removed. There's no way they can credit these sci-fi abortions to the genius of his mind. Of course there's been some good films based on his books as well; Blade Runner being the best, and Minority Report and Total Recall being worthy as well. But you won't find anything near the quality of those films here.

Next is exactly the kind of film I hate most. They get good actors like Nicolas Cage and Julianne Moore, but the script is so horrible, they don't bother to do any sort of emoting beyond remembering their dialogue. It's an obvious paycheck movie for both of them. (You could say that Cage has done that for his last 10 or so.) They have a 100 million dollar budget, but the effects are terrible. The direction is lazy; there's no spark to be found anywhere in this film. It doesn't know what kind of film it wants to be; cheesy fun or serious action film, it just sags uselessly somewhere in between.

Cage plays Cage, this time with long greasy hair and the ability to see a few seconds into the future. Julianne is a FBI agent, who is desperately trying to find him, so he can help her stop a nuclear attack. Why she's wasting so much time and man-power trying to find this guy, instead of the actual terrorists never makes a lick of sense. He can only see a few seconds into the future, it's not like he's all knowing; his skill wouldn't come in handy, except for a lame scapegoat of an excuse thrown in by the 12th screenwriter at the last second.

There's a neat bit at the beginning of the film, where Cage escapes a Vegas casino, by using his gift to avoid the cameras and security-guards after him, by ducking behind people and slot-machines at just the right second. It's the only half-way inspired scene in the whole film. Then there's this whole contrived love story between him and Jessica Biel, who offers nothing here beyond something pretty to look at. I never bought into the FBI tracking him, that wastes a good portion of the film. The nuclear attack happens near the very end of the film, and is taken care of very shoddily.

Next is the perfect example of a soulless Hollywood production. It doesn't seem like anybody put any effort into this. Usually the effects for these big budget films are at least fun to watch, but here they're really terrible, they look like they were done 15 years ago. Cage keeps escaping everything; trains, cars, bullets, logs, at the last possible second and there's not an ounce of tension built because it all looks so cartoony.

I'm mostly disappointed in where Nicolas Cage has taken his career. Does he really need more money? He used to be one of my favorite actors, making brave choices, really throwing himself into every role. But since The Rock, he plays the same guy in every film and does these really worthless action flicks over and over. He's had a few brief departures in The Weatherman and World Trade Center, but if I have to watch him escape another digital-fireball, I think I'll puke.

I've been a big Luc Besson fan since I saw The Professional in the theater over 10 years ago. Which is the best action film this side of Die Hard, incredible action scenes mixed with a beautiful story and characters you fall in love with. When The Fifth Element came out a few years later, he was cemented as one of my all time favorites. He's been pretty hit-and-miss since then, my wife and I are the only ones I know of that enjoyed The Messenger; his kid's flick Arthur and the Incredibles has a few good moments, but a lot of bad ones as well. In that time he's also become the Jerry Bruckheimer of French films, constantly producing high-quality action films.

I was excited to see the trailer for Angel-A, it looked like Besson was getting back to his roots; low-key action-drama, with two-characters in Paris, filmed in startling black & white. The film came and went pretty quickly in theaters, never playing anywhere near us, and I'd read nothing but bad or mediocre reviews for it. But when it came out on DVD I had to see it immediately, simply for Besson.

Jamel Debbouze, the one armed guy from Amelie, (and he really only has one arm,) plays the lead character of Andre. When we meet him, he's being threatened by some low-level thugs, he's got a problem, he owes a lot of money to a really bad guy. This is a fairly typical beginning for an action film, but after that it goes where no film I've ever seen before. And isn't that the important thing? Something original, most movies I feel like I've seen it all before; when something truly different comes along, most people don't enjoy it.

Andre has a few days to get the money together, with no prospect of getting out of the country and no way to come up with the money, he decides to commit suicide. He says a quick prayer before he jumps off of one of Paris' many beautiful bridges; suddenly a beautiful girl appears on the bridge next to him. She leaps into the water, and his mission turns from suicide to rescue. He drags this beautiful, bleached-blond, long-legged creature from the water. They instantly hit it off in a quirky, bickering sort-of-way. He asks her what a beautiful girl like her could possibly be so sad about? And before he knows it, she's offered to follow him around, doing whatever he wants.

But from the start, she's in control and is soon fixing his life in surprising ways; she digs up loads of money and more importantly the respect he feels he deserves. They fall in love in an unconventional way; with powers way-beyond-their-control ready to tear them apart. It's fairly obvious who this girl is, and she comes right out and tells Andre' about halfway through the film, but I'll play devil's advocate and not give it away.

Now Angel-A is nowhere near the perfection that The Professional aka Leon is. But it's a film well worth seeing, if you're into Luc Besson films or ones that are outside of the norm. It's a gorgeous film, you really couldn't do much better than Besson's B&W photography of Paris. The two leads are very charismatic, and have a great chemistry together. Rie Rasmussen, who I'm guessing is usually a model, is an Amazonian vision as Angel-A. The film gets a little cheesy towards the end, but that's my only minor complaint. Otherwise it's a very fun, cool ride.