(Seen on 5/2/08) I'm going to try an experiment here. Since I've gotten so far behind on my reviews, why not kill two birds with one stone and write my review while watching. Most likely this review will end up being about twice as long as my normal, already longish reviews. I'm going to start with Rambo. Why? Because it's brainless enough to watch and type at the same time.(And I only thought of this idea yesterday.) I'm not a huge fan of the Rambo series, though my favorite Stallone flick is probably First Blood; I've honestly never sat down and watched part 2 or 3 all the way through. I've seen so much of each, in so many sections that I feel like I've seen them, although I couldn't tell you what exactly happened in either one. When I first heard about them making Rambo 4, I thought what a lame idea. But after the fairly successful Balboa film written and directed by Stallone, and the very bloody online teaser for Rambo (see it below) I started to get excited.
So what happened so far is that, we've seen some news footage and some senseless torture of the natives of Burma to get our ire up. Now we're getting some sensitive shots of Rambo working with the land and the people. Hell, he just shot a fish with an arrow, then gave it to a cute little boy. So he's a much kinder, gentler Rambo now... but obviously that ain't gonna last.
Directed by: Sylvester Stallone - I never thought those words would give me confidence. The first laugh; "Fuck the world." That was Rambo's response to a guy trying to ask for help to get their church group up the river to bring supplies to the poor citizens of Burma. Now the good looking chick is trying to sway him, but he's still refusing, telling her to go home. Cut to: him taking them up the river, I guess she persuade him after all. Ah hell, Burmese pirates are pulling up aside them, threatening to take the woman. Damn. Rambo shot eight of them in three seconds flat. Amazingly the woman, Sarah, wants to keep going. Probably not a wise decision.
The group is now taking their medical supplies into the jungle and Rambo's heading home. Now he's burning the pirate's boat and bodies, I guess cause one of the guys threatened to report him when they got back. Boom! Village getting the crap blown out of it, and just guess what idiots are caught in the middle of it. Pretty brutal scene, kids getting shot, legs getting blown off, another kid just got thrown into a fire, blood everywhere. Soft sensitive music, and more people dying. Sarah's down, but amazingly not hurt among all the bullets and explosions. These guys better hope that Rambo doesn't catch wind.
Rambo's having war flashbacks, conveniently they have clips from the previous movies to fill us in. That didn't take long, there's a guy waking him up to tell him that the group's missing. Obviously his little crush has come into play. Manly stuff. Pounding out metal to make a machete. "Killing's as easy as breathing." Now he's taking some mercenaries up the river to save the group, they're talking a bunch of shit, but obviously Rambo could kick any of their asses, he's keeping his mouth closed for now. Somebody better not step on his toes.
"The Boatman stays with the boat." Rambo just offered to come along to fight and the mercenaries turned him down. Obviously they haven't seen First Blood. These guys ain't exactly the group from Predator, one head on a stick and they're ready to head home. Some Burmese army assholes are playing a sick game with their prisoners, betting on who'll step on an underwater mine. Splat... arrow through the head. Rambo's arrived, ready to kick ass, and show these pussies how to fight. "Live for nothing or die for something, your call."
They're sneaking around the prison-camp, freeing the hostages, getting ready for the attack. Sarah's about to get raped, Rambo doesn't like that, and out comes the machete, but instead he rips out the guy's throat with his bare hands, nice bloody choice. Slooowwww motion jump to save Sarah from gunfire, but a sniper takes out the gunmen before Rambo takes the bullet. Morning. The army has discovered the prisoners are missing, and is chasing them all into the jungle.
Rambo's backtracking to give them more time, and to kick some ass. Setting a trap, next to a huge, forgotten bomb, no less... the damn thing just blew up half the jungle in the process. Rambo escapes by jumping down a steep hill. Thanks to an injured leg, the army's caught up with most of the mercenaries and prisoners, and beating the hell out of them. Some serious carnage! Rambo just chopped a guy's head off, and has taken control of a huge caliber machine gun and is literally tearing up the whole army. This is the scene this movie will be famous for.
Dr. "No Violence" just bashed a guy's head in with a rock. Apparently if you do enough jumping and rolling, you can avoid a billion bullets, but a knife from Rambo will get you every time. The battle is over, Rambo's looking bloody, but not much worse for wear, just a few scrapes and a seriously clenched jaw; he's seen it all before. Oh no... he's back in America, it looks like he's wearing the outfit from First Blood, but he's got thirty years and a few face-lifts on him. This just doesn't look right. He's going home.
Ninety fast-paced minutes of bloody entertainment. I'd say it's the best Rambo flick since the original film. Pretty well made by Stallone and crew. Great action scenes, they really pulled out all the stops, leaving nothing to the imagination. I'd like to see Stallone direct more action films, he has a good feeling for it; as long as he leaves the sensitive stuff to a minimum and pumps up the action. And he doesn't necessarily have to act in it either, he doesn't have a ton of range now, beyond the Rocky and Rambo roles. A pretty kick-ass action film, a must see for any action fan. - Grade: B
Experiment over. I guess it worked out okay, the review is long, and I usually like a little more perspective before writing, but it's nice to have it already written. Leave me some comments on what you thought. Should I do it again?