Bill Simmons aka The Sports Guy wrote The Rules For Being a True Fan in them he lies out his rules for all the why's and how's you should root for your respected sports teams. For example, if you grow up in a city with a major sports team, you must root for that team. When you pick out a team, you have to stick with that team through thick and thin, you can't change teams willy-nilly based on how good they may be doing in the standings. I've lived by those rules. But according to him there are ways out, and I've come up with a conundrum.

I grew up in very Northern California, a 49ers and a Giants fan. I'm a die-hard 49ers fan, through and through. It's ingrained in me like almost nothing else. It was easy to be 49er fan growing up, I watched them win 4 Superbowls, play with back to back Hall of Fame QBs, and my all-time favorite player is Jerry Rice. The first football game I remember watching was Superbowl XIX, my dad, all his buddies, and soon I were rooting as the Niners beat Marino's Dophins. A true fan was born that day. I've lived and died with them ever since. The last decade or so hasn't been easy, they've barely sniffed the playoffs, bungling almost every decision along the way, but I haven't wavered an inch. My conundrum doesn't lie with them.


Growing up, I was never a huge MLB fan. I mostly rooted for the Giants because my dad did, but I didn't die when they lost, which they usually did. In 1994 there was an MLB strike and I moved to Seattle to go to college. It was easy for me to stop paying attention, I walked away from being a baseball fan for 7 years. In 2001 I made a new friend who was a die-hard Mariners fan. He took me to opening day, a day in which Mariners opened beautiful Safeco field, and I was introduced to Ichiro, the most exciting player I've ever seen. That season they won a record 116 games, I watched almost every one, about 15 of them at the stadium. They hosted the All-Star game. They won their first round of playoffs to the Indians and I was there for the decisive game 5. Ultimately they lost to the Hated Yankees in the ALCS. I became a huge Mariners that season and a huge MLB fan for the first time. I rooted hard-core for the Mariners in the following years, they won 90 some games in 2002 & 2003, missing the playoffs, but at least staying relevant. After that, they fell off a cliff, and have been bottom dwellers ever since. I continued to watch hundreds of their games on TV, still went to 4-5 games a year. In 2006 I moved to Southern Oregon, where I still watched them on TV, but with ever dwindling emotion behind it. I no longer lived in the same city, and they were too shitty to care about any time after July.

Now we live in a unique location, where we get both Mariners & Giants games on TV. And all that time, I've kept track of the Giants, often watching their games when the Mariners weren't on. Through everything, I've considered them my NL team. I remember the 2002 World Series well, I was crushed when they blew game 6 and went on to lose the World Series. Last year about August I started to become a bit of a Giants band-wagoner. The Mariners were on their way to a historically awful season, and I'd cut off all emotional ties, because it was painful to watch them. The Giants were in the playoff race, I suddenly had a winning team to root for. I watched a lot of regular season games down the stretch, I watched every playoff game and as they won the World Series, I saw my 6 year old son becoming a lifetime Giants fan. As he's grown up, I've always sung him "Take Me Out To the Ballgame" as part of his nighttime ritual, for 6 years when I came to the "...root, root, root for the home-team..." part, I always substituted the Mariners for the home-team. Last year, when the Giants were in the World Series, he made me change it to "...root, root, root, for the Giants..."



Eight games into the 2011 season, I'm already feeling done with the Mariners, I see nothing but another miserable season ahead. I knew they didn't have a shot in hell in making the playoffs. They've already lost six games in a row (seven as I write this), losing their home opener 12-3 in embarrassing fashion. There doesn't seem to be any end in sight for the Mariners ineptitude, I don't think the owners have a clue about how to turn this ship around. I don't have that emotional tie going back to childhood... it's easier to walk away.

The only reason I still really watch them is for Ichiro. He's become my all-time favorite baseball player. I fear the second he leaves the team, I will stop caring about them all-together, and he has a few years left at most. Also there are already rumors about my 2nd favorite player Felix Hernandez getting traded later in the year, probably to the Yankees, which would make me die a little.

Meanwhile the Giants have won back-to-back games with walk-off hits, keeping up the excitement from last year. I've already announced myself a Giants fan for 2011 season. But do I want to make it a lifetime decision?

My son will still root for the Mariners when they're on, but I don't want to force my son into a lifetime of Mariners misery. But he's leaning towards the Giants, and I want to truly root for them along side him as we watch their games. Also, we're now geographically closer to San Francisco, and much more likely to go down there for a game, than up to Seattle.

The Mariners are my only sports tie left to Seattle and it's unraveling quickly. That team and the all the sports teams of Seattle seem to have a curse upon them. I'd become a Sonics fan while I lived there, never having an NBA team before that, the moment they moved to Oklahoma City I stopped caring. Now I'm an NBA nomad, rooting for any team playing against the Lakers or Celtics. The Seahawks are the Niners rival, I can't root for them.

Having grown up a Giants fan and always being a 49ers fan, I feel like I'm in a unique position, to "legally" change teams without becoming a band-wagoner. But if I do jump ship, I'll have to stick with the Giants from now on, through thick and thin. The Mariners will stay my AL team, and if they ever make it close to the Playoffs, I'll have an interest in rooting for them. But if I'm officially a Giants fan, a Mariners World Series win won't be "Mine". And I don't feel like I can call the Giants 2010's World Series "Mine" either, although I loved watching them win it.

I'm not completely ready to break my Mariners relationship for good, but I'm drawing up the divorce papers just in case.

I made a cheesy Rocky spoof for the Crunch Bunny "Shoot Me" contest. We got into the semi-finals and now it's time to drum up as many votes as possible.

Please take 30 seconds out of your day, watch my commercial and vote! I think you'll get a good laugh out of it as well.

View and vote here!

http://www.thecrunchbunny.com/#/featured-videos/view/21753841

1. Ring - I really didn't know anything about this film going into it, which is the best way to see a horror film. All I'd heard was it was a scary Japanese film, which seemed extremely exotic at that time, when DVDs were just starting to leak out from other countries. I had to seek out the DVD at Scarecrow Video (one of the best video stores in the world), because at that time, nobody else was carrying it.

#2. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - As a kid, just the title alone freaked me out. That title haunted me, it just sounded like an awful film. My friends, who I don't think had seen it for themselves, kept telling me that it was a true story, which made it that much worse. I didn't get to see it for a few more years, probably when I was about 12-13. I hardly wanted to press play on our VCR, just it's reputation alone had me freaked out, but i had to see it for myself. The film did not disappoint in the least, it felt so horribly violent that I was disturbed for years. But I loved every minute of that torturous first viewing and of course I had to watch it many more times over the years.

Even now this movie unsettles me. It's so brilliantly made; realistic and visceral. It feels more like a documentary than a fictional film. Still one of my top 5 horror films.