The original Sleepaway Camp is one of my favorite 80's slasher flicks. I'd put it right up there with the original Halloween and Friday the 13th. It has the best ending of the genre; if you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about, and if not, rent the movie now. It inevitably had some crappy sequels, part 2 Unhappy Campers & part 3 Teenage Wastland, both made in the 80's, both instantly forgettable. I hadn't heard a thing about the third sequel Return to Sleepaway Camp until I ran across it at Redbox and figured it was worth a buck rental. I thought it would be nearly intolerable and I'd end up fast-forwarding to the lame death scenes, before turning it off early. So it's easy to say that my expectations were low.

I was pleasantly surprised when the movie started and it actually showed some promise. It looks like it was shot on film, or at least some high quality video; I was expecting some low budget camcorder crap. The set design made it look like a real film, not somebody shooting at their friend's house and the lighting, while too bright most of the time, at least looks professional. The acting, eh, it's passable for a horror film. The lead kid of Alan convincingly plays a real asshole. The opening of the film was actually able to suck me into the story, instead of having me thinking about the technical issue. Although that became more of a problem as the film went on.

Everybody's picking on Alan, and it's easy to understand why, he's mean, fat, ugly, stupid and utterly annoying. I don't think we're supposed to identify with him, because he's impossible to like. You'd like to feel sorry for him, but he's such a prick to everyone around him, you don't care that he's constantly attacked. In the original Sleepaway Camp, it was much easier to like Angela, she was simply quiet and shy, she didn't deserve the abuse. Alan brings it on himself. If this constant teasing had been the opening act, and the film had gone on to other things, it would have been better for it. But Alan's ridicule takes up the majority of the film, I got quite sick of him being teased mercilessly, then running away in anger, coming back to attack everybody with his brutish nature, before being teased into running away again. The cycle is only broken up with a few kills, by an unseen psycho in black pants and work boots. The first two kills are the most inspired, the cook gets his head dipped into the deep fryer and then a stoner gets filled with gasoline and lit ablaze. After that they're more run of the mill, the only other decent one being a guy getting his junk pulled off by a Jeep, but the scene is ruined by dragging on for too long.

So what started out as being better than expected, slowly got pretty boring. If it had made a plot turn at the start of the 2nd act, or introduced some characters to root for, it would have been better. But it runs with the same idea for 75 of the 90 minutes, finally turning into a typical slasher-in-the-woods ending, with everybody running around scared, and a couple of the characters trying to bring it all to an end. The highlight of the film, is that they bring back three of the main actors to portray their characters from the first film; Ronnie the head councilor is now an owner of the camp, Ricky, Angela's cousin and only friend, is now grown up and comes back to camp once the murders start to pile up, and Angela herself makes a reappearance. The only mystery is who she's hiding out as, although the first time I saw her other character, I was 95% sure of who it was.

Robert Hiltzik the writer/director of the original is back at the helm, and the series is much better off for it. He completely ignores the middle two sequels and simply skips decades into the future. It's the first film he's directed in the 25 years since the original, I'm not sure where he went, but it seems like a waste that he wasn't around creating more cinematic mayhem, as his first effort was one of the greats of the genre. If you're a fan of the original, Return to Sleepaway Camp is well worth seeing, if just for the return of the core group of characters; if not, you can safely skip it. - Grade: C

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Also recently watched:

King of California is a fun quirky little Sundance style dramedy. Michael Douglas is good as the not-quite-all-there-dad, he has good chemistry with Evan Rachel Wood who plays his reluctantly supportive daughter. It's a lot of fun to see them search for lost treasure, that may or may not be buried under a Costco of all places. A fun ride if you're looking for something a bit offbeat. - Grade: B




I can't believe it took this long for me to see Slumdog Millionare. I meant to see this film long before all the hype. I'd heard pretty early on that this was a great film and I'll check out any film directed by Danny Boyle, he's one of the most interesting directors working right now. Do I think it deserved all the Oscar wins? Mostly. The film is really well put together, the photography and editing is purely amazing, shooting it right in the real slums of India puts you instantly into their world. The love story seemed a little tired, nothing too new there. But it is a really wonderful film, that I'd recomend to just about anybody. - Grade: A

This movie is not for the squeamish. This movie is not even for the average horror fan. To enjoy this film you have to be into some pretty sick shit. Having laughed my way through films like Saw and Hostel, even I found myself getting repulsed at a few of the scenes in this film. This is a movie that is about coming up with the most creative way of killing somebody in a bowling alley. Putting the DVD in, I thought of bludgeoning someone with a pin and/or a bowling ball and somebody getting their head stuck in a ball-polisher, which do happen in disgustingly gory ways. And they come up with a few other bowling related kills, and quite a few that are just your run-of-the-mill movie psycho stuff. But the difference with Gutterballs, is that right about where most horror films end a kill scene, it keeps going, turns it up a notch, and takes it to a whole new level of repulsiveness.

The nauseating deaths are only the icing on the cake, after the 10 minute rape scene at the beginning of the film. Filmmaker Ryan Nicholson takes his cues from films like I Spit on Your Grave and Last House on the Left and opens his film with a scene so horrible, that you're glad to see the villains die painfully. That's something that Gutterballs does very well, create some really awful people, you want to die. The three main villains are all well rounded assholes and they're also the only three actors who create memorable performances. They're given free range to go as far out with their characters as possible, so while they're all deplorable, they also provide a few good laughs. The "good guys" on the other hand are completely forgettable, none of them has a personality beyond their generic 80's horror inspired clichés and don't add anything besides living-meatbags to destroy in bloody ways.

The film was created on an ultra low budget, the photography looks cheap and the sound is god-awful. A lot of the dialog has a tin-can sound, like they added too many filters trying to get rid of the ambient bowling alley sounds. Where they didn't cheapen out is the effects, the blood, bone and brains fly liberally around the screen. The aforementioned ball-polisher kill is one of the bloodiest deaths I've ever seen in an American film (only the Japanese pour on the gore like this), by the end the guy's head is little more than a bowl full of red goo. And I won't go into detail about the guy getting his penis cut in half, but it doesn't leave anything to the imagination. Gutterballs is a pure gore-fest, besides that and the three somewhat charismatic-douche-bags, the film is pretty worthless. But for those of you like like some serious carnage, this film should stick with you for a while. - Grade: C+

With all the talk about Joaquin Phoenix going nuts, we've forgotten about how talented an actor he is. And if he has gone off the deep end and truly retired from acting, which I don't believe for a second, his last film Two Lovers is a great swan song. This is his film. He's in every single scene, with hardly a shot in the film without him in it, and the film is that much better for it. The film opens with his character Leonard jumping into an icy river, trying to kill himself for yet unknown reasons. Sinking into the deep, he thinks better of it and lets somebody help pull him out. He walks home, where we meet his parents, an old Jewish couple, played lovingly by Isabella Rossellini and Moni Moshonov. Dad proudly owns a dry-cleaning business, which he expects Leonard to inherit.

Leonard is a sad soul, every movement of his comes with great pain, just breathing seems to be an effort. He brightens up a little when he meets a young woman Sandra, whose father has plans on going into business with Leonard's father. In a short scene in Leonard's bedroom, we see that he can be a little witty and charming when there's a cute girl to impress, but the sparks don't fly. He really comes alive when he meets Michelle, played wonderfully by Gwyneth Paltrow. She's gorgeous and interesting, Leonard is instantly infatuated. He does a bit of innocent stalking and they quickly become friends. It's soon clear that Michelle might be even more messed up than Leonard, but her problems only grows Leonard's attraction towards her. Meanwhile he's still seeing Sandra, who wants to take care of him, but he's only doing it to please their respective fathers. The film ends with a note perfect twist that leaves you very conflicted on how to feel.

Two Lovers is the best drama I've seen about love in a long time. There's no conflict in Leonard about who he wants to be with, but Michelle is seeing somebody else and his family wants him to marry Sandra, who seems to be the perfect fit. But his heart wants what it wants, even if she's emotionally unavailable. Phoenix plays Leonard perfectly, he's very quiet throughout, but you can read every emotion in his eyes. Sadly I don't often get drawn into films the way I should, but his anxiousness made me feel anxious, and I was squirming in my seat as the film approached its gut wrenching climax. This is a very quiet movie, with not a whole lot of plot development, just a lot of well written and performed conversations. The film feels absolutely real, as we follow Leonard through a confusing few weeks as his life comes to a crucial turning point. A really beautiful little film. - Grade: B+

The subtle American comedy is going the way of the dinosaur, everything these days has to be brash, obvious and forgettable five minutes after the movie is over. Why else would we pay to see the same jokes over and over again? You can only see a guy get hit in the nuts so many times before it loses its effect. I wasn't actually expecting a film so well crafted and realistic going into The Promotion. The trailer uses all the loudest jokes in the film, trying to sell it like every other comedy, but don't expect the usual brainless Sandler or Ferrell vehicle.

They try to sell it with the simplistic concept of two guys going after the same job, doing anything and everything to outdo one another, but the film really isn't about that. There are certainly those elements there, but the film digs much deeper. The Promotion is actually a love letter to the typical American worker. Not everybody has an exciting job that deals in fortune and fame, and I think that most movies don't bother to focus on these sort of everyday men. Who are heroes in their own right. The film portrays these guys as real people, there is no good or bad guy, they're simply men trying to provide for their families, dealing with the thousands of stresses of everyday life.

I've always liked Seann William Scott, he burst onto the scene as Stifler in American Pie, and got typecast as that sort of actor, but here he gets to show his range, and he has a nice quiet performance as Doug Stabler, assistant manager at a national grocery store. His battles with stock boys and parking lot security may seem mundane to an outside observer, but writer/director Steve Conrad brings us so convincingly into his world, that these are a heroes journey. When Richard Whelner, another assistant manager from the Canadian branch, shows up to work along side him, it rocks his world to the core. And it's very nice to see John C. Reilly back to playing a realistic character, I was getting sick of his Will Ferrell sidekick roles. Even Fred Armisen, who's never met a role he couldn't turn up to ten, convincingly portrays the store's head manager who stands between them. The women in these guys lives are also well drawn by Lily Taylor and Jenna Fischer. The whole film feels very natural, it's incredibly funny, while also working as a drama. Don't go into it expecting a laugh a minute, let it draw you into its world and I think this is a film that'll stick with you for a while. - Grade: A-

Nobody knows how to create deplorable characters quite like Chuck Palahniuk, and Choke's Victor Mancini is one of his worst. He's a con-artist that purposely chokes on food in restaurants so those who save him will feel obliged to help support him financially. He's a sex addict who's going through rehab without any ambition of actually following through with it, he mostly uses it to pick up on nymphomaniac girls. His whole attitude towards life is to be as big of a dick to everyone who has the misfortune to run across him. Only two people are able to put up with him, his best friend Denny, a chronic masturbator, and his mother who's losing her mind to dementia.

I read Choke about 9 years ago, so I didn't really remember anything beyond his character flaws, which are easier to tolorate in book form, where you have the insight of being inside his head. So I wasn't quite sure how they were going to pull this film off. They got off to a good start by casting Sam Rockwell, he's one of the few actors who can act like a complete prick and still come across as charming.

Don't go into this film expecting anything like Palahniuk's prior adaptation Fight Club. First time director Clark Gregg, isn't ready to sniff David Fincher's shorts, let alone create a masterpiece. The tone is really light for a Palahniuk world, every disgusting act is treated like a joke, there isn't much substance to grab onto, no emotional backbone. The film feels like a quick glossing over of the novel, with all the plot developments flying by without much thought. It jumps quickly from scene to scene, with the current scene not having much to do with the one that proceeded it. The only full arc in the film is him dealing with his mother dying.

The film moves along quickly, and most of the scenes, in their own right, are entertaining. Rockwell is very good as the anti-hero Victor, he really saves the film from becoming a complete mess. He's able to connect the dots for us between his sex addiction and the love for his abusive mother in a way that the screenplay doesn't. In a better filmmaker's hands this could have been something special, but mostly it's brainless entertainment. If you're looking for something offbeat, this might make your night, but the film will be remembered as any sort of cult classic. - Grade: C+

Innovated by Cannibal Holocaust, made popular by The Blair Witch Project and turned into an event film with Cloverfield; the first-person horror film has become a whole genre onto itself. The latest film is Quarantine, a remake of the Spanish horror film [Rec]. Which I would have preferred to have seen first, but since it isn't yet available on American DVD, I started here. I knew exactly what to expect from this film from beginning to end, and I mean the literal end. There it is, right there on the poster and featured prominently in the trailer. One of the best shots in the film wasted, but that doesn't mean the film isn't worth checking out.

We follow along with Angela who is shooting a reality show that features a couple of firefighters on the job. She and her cameraman go with them on what they believe to be a routine medical call, and quickly turns into a living hell. There's an outbreak of a deadly rabies like virus that turns people and animals into mindless killers. The entire apartment building is quarantined with the emergency workers, the residents, Angela and her cameraman stuck inside with these freaks. At first they try to figure out what's going on, then they're trying to find a way out, then all that's left to do is survive.

Quarantine is pretty well done. The reality show concept quickly brings us into the story, as it is a format that we're all familar with. We get to know Angela and the firemen a little before they're stuck inside the building, which lets us have some feelings for them on their decent into utter terror. The gruesome effects are well done, they're assisted by the dark lighting and constantly shaking camera. Execpt for a few money shots, you only catch glimpses of what's happening, which helps sell the horror. There are a some cheats with the speed the virus takes effect, sometimes it happens in seconds, for others it has taken days, which the filmmakers use to their advantage for maximum scare effect. Other than that, the film feels pretty real; most of the actors do a good job of keeping you in the moment, and the constantly moving camera makes us feel like we're the one behind the lens. Not a classic, but a good entry into this realatively new genre. - Grade: B

(I'm trying to go back to my original intent for this blog, writing a short review for whatever film I watched the night before. There will be gaps I'm sure, life is too hectic, but I want to keep this up.)