If I told you that John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd made a film together one year after the classic film Blues Brothers, each still at the height of their comical powers, you’d probably rack your mind for a moment, trying to come up with a comedy masterpiece that you’d somehow misplaced in your brain. Yet, I don’t think most people have seen, or even heard, of the film Neighbors. And you certainly couldn’t call it a comedy classic. Belushi and Aykroyd try their damnedest to save the film, creating a few funny moments, but the script is so dead it's impossible to revive.

The problem starts with Belushi playing the straight-man as homeowner Earl Keese and Aykroyd playing the over-the-top obnoxious, new neighbor Vic. I usually appreciate films that try something new, but Aykroyd, who can definitely play weird, is known as a classic straight-man. (See Ghostbusters, Trading Places or Spies Like Us.) While Belushi always shined as the goofy outcast. Each are so funny in their own right that they do a decent job with their roles, but ultimately it’s a bit off-putting that they’re playing the wrong characters.

The film starts off decently enough, with Belushi and wife sitting around the house, it's another boring night after work. But something different is happening, with the long abandoned house across from them getting moved into by an odd looking couple. The doorbell rings and Belushi answers the door to Cathy Moriarty, who plays the femme fatale, sexpot Ramona to a tee, who leads Belushi into quite a few sexually awkward scenes. Soon her husband, Aykroyd, is on the scene, demanding that Belushi act the host and treat them to dinner. It’s a fairly good set-up for a comedy, but ultimately Neighbors never goes anywhere. The film takes place all in one night, with Belushi constantly being foiled by Vic or Ramona, while his wife thinks the new couple is the cat’s pajamas.

Belushi is repeatedly put into ridiculous situations, each only slightly more awkward than the last, with the film never building to any worthwhile climax. And the way each situation is set-up, the conclusion is telegraphed from a mile off, robbing most moments of its laughs. The line delivery, facial expressions and comic timing of Belushi and Aykryod keep the film from becoming a complete mess; if the film had starred two lesser comedians, it never would have seen the light of day. Director John Avildsen tries his best to dress up the story, with wacky camera angles and some other fun filmmaking tricks, but he’s completely unable to save it as well. If the script had been anywhere near decent, if it had any sense about how to build a story or set a scene, the actors may have been enough to make it a fun comedy. But as it is, Neighbors is far too big of a mess for anyone to bother, and it remains a forgotten piece in two comedy legends filmographies. – Grade: D (Seen on 6/26/08)

Best scene in the film, Belushi gets ready for a date to "Staying Alive":

The opening credits of this film are an incredible downer, not something I was expecting when I rented a 70's Spanish horror film about killer children. I thought I was getting into some light, cheesy entertainment. The first few minutes is very disturbing footage and photographs of real life tragedies, where huge numbers of children have been slaughtered; Jews in Nazi concentration camps, Vietnamese children during the war, nasty stuff like that. Not something you really want to think about when you're trying to enjoy a movie, it makes death real. But it sets the tone for a film, that is far better made, and far more serious than I ever thought I was getting in to.

Who Can Kill A Child? starts with a young English couple, Tom and Evelyn, on vacation in Spain. They're enjoying the local festivities, but have plans to go on to a scarcely populated island off the coast. The film takes a while to get going, but it gives us a chance to get to know Tom and Evelyn, they're good natured, friendly, and very in love. They're enjoying their last vacation together, before Evelyn gives birth to their first child. Tom rents a small boat to take out to the island, which isn't too far off shore. When they arrive, there are a few children playing and fishing on the docks, but no sign of anyone else. Immediately something seems off, when Tom asks a boy what's in his fishing box, he gets a deathly glare.

When they get into town, there doesn't seem to be anyone there. Evelyn starts to get quite skittish about it all, but Tom seems confident that there must be some sort of festival on the other side of the island. Finally they lay eyes on their first adult, an old man dazedly walks towards them, when suddenly a young girl grabs his walking stick from him, and starts to beat him to death. Tom runs over to help, chasing the girl away. He takes the dying man to a nearby barn, laying him down in the hay, leaving him there, hoping to find someone who can help. He doesn't get far, when he hear strange sounds coming from the barn, what he discovers horrifies him beyond belief, a group of children have turned the old man into a pinata, slashing at him with a sickle. He doesn't tell Evelyn about what has happened, he's trying to hide his fear, while frantically looking for someone who can help them. Soon they run across a man, who's been hiding in the attic of the town's only hotel. He tells them how the children suddenly went wild, killing off every adult on the island, none who did much to defend themselves because Who Can Kill A Child?

The film is actually somewhat surprising where it goes from here. It's surprising in how effectively creepy it all is. Surprising in how realistic the filmmakers manage to make it all feel. I appreciate that they don't try to explain how or why it's all happening, just the fact that it is, making it a gruesome reality. The closest they come to explaining anything, is a great scene (see it below); Tom and Evelyn go to the other side of the island, where they find a family home intact, with some still innocent children playing outside. When some of the kids from the village show up, they watch helplessly as the kids change. Tom and Evelyn split, leaving the children's mother there to suffer the consequences, because what could these outsiders possibly say to make her understand that her own children are about to kill her.

Writer/Director Narciso Ibáñez Serrador created an understated masterpiece. The film takes a ridiculous idea and makes it a horrifying reality. This 1976 film is undoubtedly influenced by Hitchcock's The Birds, where for unexplained reasons, birds decide to attack and kill humans; they're both done realistically, relying on tension to terrify instead of gore. The few violent scenes pack a lot more emotional punch because of the way the film is built. The most disturbing scene in the film has to do with the surprising results to Evelyn's pregnancy. Who Can Kill A Child?, isn't a film for the faint of heart, once Tom's switch is flipped, he does some disgusting things to survive. The tone remains deadly serious throughout, it never really lightens up with any jokes. Once the film is over, the opening scene begins to make sense, these children are punishing the adults for all the atrocities of the world, and boy don't we deserve it. - Grade: A

Will Ferrel seems content in continuing to make the same film over and over until the well runs dry. We as an audience continue to lap up what he’s serving, so he’s able to continue to do so, not forcing him to move on to something greater. But I must admit that his films remain funny, he’s such an offbeat, lovable character that his shtick has yet to grow old. Although I’m not sure how many more trips to the well I can take.

In Semi-Pro, Ferrel plays owner/coach/player Jackie Moon of the fictional ABA team Detroit Tropics. It’s the late 70’s, Moon made his money with a disco one-hit-wonder called "Love Me Sexy", but his bank account is quickly dwindling and the basketball league is dying. The era lets Ferrel and gang dress up in over-the-top costumes, ridiculous even by disco standards. Ferrel gets to rock his trademark white-man’s-fro and as usual he’s obliged to take off his shirt to show off his flabby physique and strange orange, lint-ball chest hair. Woody Harrelson shows off his comic chops as the aging veteran Ed Monix, going through his last hurrah. Will Arnett, does his usual funny routine as the hard-living team announcer, and gets some great one-liners off during the games. Andre Benjamin, doesn’t really get any funny lines as the hot-shot youngster, but he holds his own with some of the best comedians of the day.

I don’t need to spell out the storyline, it’s easy enough to make it out from the trailer. It doesn’t go anywhere fresh or exciting; it’s a fairly typical sports-comedy archtype, simply a foundation for the comedians to riff off of. Perhaps the most interesting development of the film, is that Jackie Moon doesn’t have a love interest, at least female wise, his love is his team. It's not often that the lead character of a comedy, isn't chasing a woman. Harrelson’s character gets the love story, and it’s a twisted one at that.

Perhaps what surprised me the most was the filmmaking, I found it to be far better made than Ferrel’s last few vehicles. There's some actual attention to detail, this isn't the typical, bare minimum, flat-lighting, point a camera in the stars direction, comedy. The film is really nicely shot in widescreen, with some true attention to detail. The costumes and sets are believably 70’s, it doesn’t feel like a bunch of guys playing dress-up, it actually places you into the era. Most importantly I thought it was genuinely funny, I laughed out loud much more during this film, than either Talladega Nights or Blades of Glory. It doesn't feel quite as re-watchable as the minor-classic Anchorman, but it's a close second. – Grade: B (Seen on 6/25/08)

Is there a scarier idea for a guy, than a vagina with teeth? Taking the ultimate in pleasure and turn it into an extremely dangerous proposition, is a great premise for a horror film. Teeth takes that idea and manages to turn it into something slightly more than that, and although the film is extremely flawed in some areas, its comes up enough interesting ideas to make it well worth seeing. The filmmakers got very ambitious with the project and nearly turned out a cult-classic, but the tone jumps so wildly from scene to scene, that the film doesn’t flow well and loses some momentum along the way.

The film starts with our anti-heroine Dawn, about seven-years-old, sitting in a play pool with her step-brother, who wants to play “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours”. He takes it a little too far, sticking his finger in, and then in sweet revenge, nearly gets it bitten off. The film sets this gruesome mutation up slighly, with a short shot of a nuclear power plant in the background of their family’s home. The film jumps almost a decade to where Dawn is now a quickly blossoming teenager. She’s part of a militant group of virgins, that vow to wait till marriage, after a rousing speech, she claims the torch as one of the groups leaders. Being a pretty young girl, that of course won’t stop boys from trying to get into her pants.

She thinks she’s safe in her friendship with the dreamy Tobey, who too is one of the groups leaders. There’s a hilarious scene where Dawn starts to masturbate, dreaming about a wedding between the two, but stops herself before going through with it. Even the virginal Tobey proves that teenage hormones are too strong to overcome and friendly swim turns nasty, when he tries to rape her. Her vagina dentata come in extremely handy, and Tobey is quickly dispatched by getting his penis bit off in gruesome, yet darkly humorous series of shots. Dawn is terrified, she doesn’t know how to react to what happened. Her extreme lack of sexual education doesn’t teach her that her teeth are abnormal. Soon she’s visiting her first gynecologist, where according to the world of Teeth, all men are evil-sexual-fiends, and the situation quickly turns gnarly. The film continues from there, with Dawn growing more comfortable with her abnormality, turning it into a favorable situation, dismembering a few more sexual deviants along the way.

The story of Teeth is obviously a metaphor for a girl growing into a woman, using the danger of her teeth as a replacement for her burgeoning sexual desires. It plays off this idea, without cramming it down our throats. The main problem with the film lie in the tone of the film. Most of the scenes do manage to convey the right emotions; the film is equally dramatic, deadly funny and terrifying at moments, but the way it jumps from scene to scene it becomes very uneven. Writer/director Mitchell Lichtenstein, in his first feature, is able to pull of this delicate balancing act for the first half of the film, but by the end it’s very distracting as the various plots come to a head. The film is nicely put together, with some good acting, especially in the case of Jess Weixler as Dawn, it’s an extremely memorable role, that may be tough to shake for a while. Ultimately the film has enough good ideas to outweigh the bad, making it worth seeing. – Grade: B- (Seen on 6/23/08)

Honestly when I saw the first previews for this film, I thought I’d skip it all together. It didn’t look good, didn’t seem fresh in any way. But my son hadn’t seen a movie in theaters in a few months, so we we’re dying to take him to anything. Maybe it was my low expectations, but I found myself truly enjoying Kung Fu Panda from beginning to end and actually came away thinking the film was a minor animation classic. It’s as good as, or better than some of the lesser Pixar films, and way better made than the Shrek or Ice Age films.

The film quickly brings you into this completely unique world, where all animal species live together in relative harmony. Where a duck raises a panda and that panda, named Po, dreams of becoming a kung-fu master. The animal kingdom lends itself well to the kung-fu styles, making the tiger, crane, snake, praying-mantis and monkey characters masters of each style named after them. Together they are the Furious Five. It is them that Po looks up and has dreams of one day joining. His father’s profession as a noodle maker, has no appeal. During a ceremony naming who will become the Dragon Master, Po stumbles his way into the path of the master Tortoise Oogway and is named the one who will unite the group, even though his kung-fu skills are extremely limited. It’s up to their leader Shifu to train Po to become a kung-fu master. Making things even more precarious, is a ferocious Panther, Tai Lung, who has just escaped the ultimate prison and is on his way to claim the title Dragon Master.

The scene where Tai Lung escapes the prison makes the film worth seeing on its own, he is such an incredible bad-ass that he has a prison all to himself, buried miles under the ground, surrounded by thousands of armed rhinos. His fight to get out, is some of the most impressive kung-fu ever brought to screen. The film is chalk full of wonderful fight scenes, that will impress the most die-hard of kung-fu fans, yet are gentle enough for little ones to enjoy. Although they may come away punching and kicking the air. The world the filmmakers have built is extremely gorgeous, modeled after ancient China. The most satisfying thing about the film, is that it's completely its own world, there are no pop-culture references to bring you out of the story, it’s a story that will remain timeless.

The one thing that may be a deal breaker for some people is Jack Black, he voices Po, who is in 95% of the film, with his character and humor being very much Jack Black. I for one enjoy his comedy stylings, so I really liked the character, but others might not. The voice work of the other characters is very well done, I especially like Dustin Hoffman as Master Shifu and Ian McShane as Tai Lung. The rest of the Furious Five are recognizable voices, including Angelina Jolie as Tigress, but none are distracting, falling easily into character. Kung Fu Panda is an extremely well put together film, for an animated family film or not, it’s got elements for everyone and at the same time doesn’t stoop to making tasteless jokes that only adults will get. The film has a nice message about finding and believing in yourself, while also kicking some serious butt. – Grade: A- (Seen on 6/21/08)

I’ve said before that werewolves are my favorite mystical beast, that they’re under represented in films. Yet I’ve also never read a book about them, something I had to change. Wolf’s Hour had been sitting on my shelf for years, it’s longish length, over 600 pages, kept me from diving in. But I’m sure glad that I did. The book is at the same time, an exciting adventure-war story and a in-depth account of a werewolf’s life. Michael Gattlin is a spy in the British army during WWII, he’s dropped into France to find out an important secret, which then leads him deep into the depths of the Gestapo, a concentration camp, until he ultimately nearly single-handedly saves the war effort for the Allies. He’s fighting evil Nazis at every turn and bedding beautiful women at every stop. Throughout his adventure through war torn Europe, we’re taken back to his childhood in Russia, where we learn about him being bitten and his painful changes into a wolf, where McCammon has a refreshing new take on the werewolf myth. The book is very well written, extremely detail oriented and undeniably fun; the only parts that I could have done without are Gattlin's sexual encounters, where the writing devolves into a cheap romance novel, with heaving breasts and feverish thrusting. But if you’re a werewolf or WWII fan, the book is well worth reading, it deftly mixes the two, along with enough real-life events to keep it grounded. – Grade: B

The Policy

I discovered Bentley Little a couple years back, thanks to a Stephen King blurb about him in EW, and he’s quickly become one of my favorite horror writers. Although once you’ve read one of his books, they all start to seem very similar, he definitely has a formula. The four I've read all build in the same manner, each with very familiar lead characters and all the titles seem to be The Something. But they're undeniably scary in sections, and he comes up with some wicked ideas. The Policy is doubly uncomfortable because it deals with insurance, a subject that is never fun. A young couple is harassed by an insurance company that forces people to buy their coverage by destroying any part of their life that isn't covered. So if they offer you job insurance, and you don't buy it, your job will soon be gone. And they get far, far dirtier than that. It's a decent, fairly brainless read. - Grade: C+

I’m going to admit a major movie blasphemy; at least for a die-hard 80’s movie fan such as myself. Before this viewing, I’d never seen Footloose, the 80’s dance classic featuring Kevin Bacon in his star making role. Sure I’d seen pieces of it on cable over the years, enough that I felt like I’d seen the whole thing, but after watching it through, I realized that I didn’t completely know the magic of this film. There were actually some surprising developments, not so much story wise, that was all pretty predictable, more in the character development. Most notably in Reverend Shaw Moore, played by John Lithegow. I figured he’d be a one-note preacher, with nothing but contempt for everything that the kids stand for. But he actually shows a lot of compassion, and leads the town to make some good sensible decisions, mainly he's a hurting father.

It was these dramatic elements that made me enjoy Footloose for more than just a blast to the past. There’s actually a good moral center, which explores the line between right and wrong. Of course, nobody is watching this film for the dramatic tension; they want to see Kevin dance! And boy, does he. There are quite a few scenes of Kevin dancing his worries away, most famously, the angry dance in the deserted barn; that’s been spoofed recently by Hot Rod and Flight of the Conchords. He and his dance-doubles have some great moves and for the most part the 80’s soundtrack is top notch, which makes the film a lot of fun to watch.

I’m sure you all know the story about the big city teenager moving to a small Indiana town, where the law states that dancing is illegal. It’s fun to see Kevin rally his new friends to fight against these laws, originally set down by the reverend because his son died in a drunk driving accident after a school dance. But he’s losing his daughter to these strict rules, she’s a wild one at heart, and delights in rebelling against his laws. The funniest scene in the film, is when she brings a boom-box to the local hang out, and somehow everyone in the joint is able to hear it and starts dancing along. It was great to see a very young Chris Penn play Kevin’s best friend, and in another great guilty pleasure of a scene, Kevin teaches him how to dance.

Footloose is undeniably fun. If you’re not a fan of 80’s movies, than this film definitely isn’t for you, as it’s brimming with everything that made the decade so memorable. I was surprised by how well the dramatic elements worked in the film, and I guess that’s why it remains such a staple, the dancing alone wouldn’t be enough. Go watch Breakin’, if you want an empty bubble-gum film full of out-dated dancing scenes. Kevin Bacon, John Lithgow, Chris Penn and Dianne Wiest, who played a mom in every other 80’s movie, lend the film some gravitas and sell the slightly ludicrous idea of a dance-free town. Footloose is a must see for any fan of the 80’s, but you probably already know that. – Grade: B+ (Seen on 6/17/08)

We watched two family pet movies fairly close together, one being about an amazing dog, the other being the Lock Ness monster itself. Neither film blew me away, but neither was too painful of a way to spend 90 minutes with your family.

I figured Firehouse Dog was going to be pretty unbearable, and only took a chance on it because there was a free movie channel weekend on DirecTV. It isn't necessarily good, but it turned out to be better than expected. Josh Hutcherson, who plays the lead character Shane, is the main reason the movie didn’t sink into completely worthlessness. He’s a good young actor, that’s been in a bunch of family movies in the past few years, including Zathura and Bridge to Terabithia. He kind of reminds me of a young Christian Bale, and I can see him easily transitioning into an adult actor with adult roles. Of course, only time will tell.

The rest of Firehouse Dog was pretty cliché, extremely predictable from beginning to end; although I did like a few of the bits at the beginning of the film, where we’re shown the dog’s back-story. He’s a Hollywood hotshot, basically the Arnold or Sly (80’s versions), of dog movies and has the movie-star personality to go with it. When a movie stunt goes wrong, he’s lost in the middle-of-nowhere, with no way of communicating who he is. He befriends Shane, whose father is a fire-chief, and his mother is dead. Who decided that nearly every family film had to have a dead or missing parent? It’s extremely rare to see one with a family fully intact.

The dad is played by Bruce Greenwood, an always dependable character actor, he brings a bit of realism to this fairly ridiculous story. His fire station, where apparently only five firemen work 24/7, is on the verge of being closed down by the city. There is also a subplot about an serial-arsonist who killed the chief’s brother. But once wonder-dog shows up, he manages to bring the family together, save the station, and capture the arsonist. All fairly typical movie-dog traits, Lassie pulls off these tricks while getting a flea bath. But Firehouse Dog is a fairly well put-together film, at least for a movie of it’s kind. It’s not too condescending towards its intended audience, although the dog does let a few farts rip. The film isn't good enough to recommended for anyone without a kid younger than 7 or 8, but they should enjoy it. – Grade: C (Seen on 6/7/08)

The second film was a lot more ambitious, being a period piece and including a lot of special effects. Water Horse: The Legend of the Deep, takes place in Scotland during WWII; where a family is taking care of a large mansion near Lock Ness. Again a parent is missing, this time it's Dad, who’s been killed in the war, but the youngest son refuses to acknowledge the fact, leading to a couple of dramatic moments. The boy finds a strange egg in the Lock, takes it home to Dad’s shop, where it hatches a small aquatic monster during the night. When the boy first finds the beast, it’s a fairly creepy scene, at least as far as kids movies go. I was surprised it didn’t scare my son to death, with the dramatic music, dark lighting, weird noises and flashing lightning. But he got through it just fine, although I’m not sure most 4-year-olds could handle it.

Afterwards little Nessie is pretty cute, and the boy, his sister and the new maintenance-man make a pact to keep the beast hidden from mom, who obviously wouldn’t approve. This leads to a couple of ridiculous scenes, where the group is force to hide this quickly growing beast in toilets and so forth. Meanwhile, the Scottish army has also set up base on the house’s grounds, believing that a German submarine may find it’s way into the Lock. Soon Nessie is far too large to be kept around the house, leading to a tearful goodbye as they release her into the Lock. But she remains a good friend with the boy Angus, taking him on an exciting underwater ride, hypothermia free and all. Of course there’s a convoluted mix-up with the army, and soon they’re bombing the Lock, leading to all kinds of dramatics surrounding Nessie’s new home.

While nowhere near a great film, I thought that Water Horse was a much more interesting film than the previous one. Some of the effects are pretty laughable, especially when the boy takes a ride on Nessie’s back, but for the most part they sell this fantastical idea. They handle the friendship between the boy and Nessie pretty well, it definitely has an E.T. vibe to it. The Scottish, WWII setting also makes it interesting to watch. Plus the filmmaking is just plain better, there’s some attention to details, with nice photography, good set and costume design, and some good English actors lending their talents; including Brian Cox as the narrator, Emily Watson as the mother, Ben Chaplin as the new maintenance-man and young Alex Etel as Angus is very strong. (Also see him in one of the best family films from the last few years, Millions.) I’d say that the film is well enough made, that it’s actually a worthwhile film if you don’t have kids, although you certainly have to suspend your disbelief for certain scenes. – Grade: B (Seen on 6/7/08)

This film is an incredibly ridiculous supernatural thriller, that falls apart the minute it’s over, as you start to fill in the badly done pieces. It works okay for a while, good enough to keep you watching and wanting to know how it ends. But once some of the film’s mysteries start to unravel, you feel dumber for continuing to watch it. The film only works because of some blatant plot-holes and leaps in logic, that don’t make sense even in a world where Sandra Bullock’s life jumps back and forth between days of the week.

At the beginning of the film Sandra’s told that her husband has died, obviously it’s a horrendous day for her family and she goes to bed much worse for the wear. However the following day, she wakes up to her husband being alive again, and thinks her memories are nothing but a bad dream. But again she wakes up to a dead husband, and suddenly she’s going off the deep end, winding up the day by being committed to a mental hospital. Again she wakes up to her husband being alive. She starts to unravel the mystery of what’s going on, hoping that she can save her husband from dying.

She learns that she has a couple more days to figure out how to stop it all from happening. There’s one unintentionally funny scene where she ponders if he’s worth keeping alive, after she learns about his affair. Which pales in unintentional hilarity, to when she first confronts the fact of her husband being dead, sending his beheaded noggin rolling into the street; my favorite scene in the film. I’ll admit I was a bit interested in how it would come to an end, if it was in fact a self-fulfilling prophecy, something that’s always intrigued me. But once the groaner of an ending played out, and the credits started to roll, the film destroyed any sense of logic.

Premonition is a thriller for those who’ve never unraveled a mystery, and don’t want to spend a second past the end of a film, thinking about what they’ve just seen. Sandra Bullock dramatically over-acts her way through the whole film, ranging from hysterical tears to hysterical terror; her husband played by Julian McMahon, never sells himself as a real guy, I kept thinking he was going to jump into maniacal villain role. The filmmaking is typical Hollywood slickness, but with no real artistic or intelligent touches. But it’s the script that truly fails, with ridiculous scenes full of unrealistic dialog and actions, ending with a huge cheat. (Which I’ll discuss below) – Grade: D (Seen on 6/19/08)

(Full spoiler mode.) So the film ends with Sandra crazily driving after her husband, trying to get him to stop his car before the spot where he’s hit by a truck. She ends up stopping him at the exact place where he was killed and as he tries to pull a u-turn, his brand new car breaks down in the middle of the road, leading to a truck driving straight through him and then nonsensically exploding. Those ridiculous events aren’t even the problems I had with it, because at the beginning of the film, she’s told by a cop that her husband has died. Yet she’s on scene when it happens. Why doesn’t the cop know that or even recognize her? Time is only mixed up for her. They also blatantly cheat another thing in the time-line. There’s a “shocking” shot where her daughter’s face is suddenly mangled. They show later that she accidentally ran through a sliding-glass-door, but in the time-line which they set for the movie, it happens before they learn that daddy is dead, in fact daddy shows up at the hospital. But at the very beginning of the film, when they find out he’s dead, her face is perfectly normal. They should have found another way around this, by shooting her only from the back or something, instead they simply cheat. Not that it would have made this crappy movie any better.

My family and I are off to Seattle for a week. It's our old hometown, where my wife and I met and our son was born. We haven't been back in a few years, want to see the old sites and visit some great friends. So there probably won't be any movie posts till the 14th. I'm going to try and write some reviews on my laptop, on the long drive up, we'll see how that goes, but they probably won't get posted till I get back.

Being an editor, I couldn't resist cutting together a little something before we left. I recently found this old super-8, stop-motion test footage, shot in Seattle from our place on Queen Anne Hill, buried on one of my hard-drives. I thought it'd be fun to put to some music. The song is "Modern Inventions" by The Submarines.

During June, IFC was running Grindhouse nights, featuring old horror and exploitation flicks. Most of the films I had seen, or already own on DVD. But they showed three films from the late 70's and early 80's that I had never seen, or in the case of The Howling, hadn't seen in so long that I didn't really remember it.

Even more amazing was the slasher flick, The Burning, how this film escaped my attention for so long, I'll never know. Released one year after the original Friday the 13th, this film is so much better than most of the other slasher films of the decade, that I can't understand why it doesn't have a better reputation. The plot is nowhere near original, a dim-witted summer camp custodian is accidentally burned alive, when a practical joke by some campers goes awry. Years later he returns to take his revenge on some unsuspecting teenagers. Typical stuff.

But there are a couple of things that sets this film apart from the deluge of other films of this genre. The film-making is very well done for a low-budget, early 80's, slasher flick. They're able to build tension, through some deft editing and good cinematography. This was actually the very first film made by Miramax, long before it became a powerhouse on the independent filmmaking scene, and a young Harvey Weinstein was one of the originators of the film. Special effects legend Tom Savini, created the gruesome murders, which are much gorier and more believable than most of the films from this era, definitely a high point of the film.

What truly sets this film apart, is that you actually care about these young campers. I've seen every Friday the 13th film multiple times, and I don't think the entire series created as many likable characters as The Burning did in one film. They had some extremely fortunate casting, with appearances by four notable actors. A very young, skinny and full-head-of-haired Jason Alexander, shows his comedic chops as Dave, the camp's clown. Fisher Stevens, who's been a reliable sidekick for three decades, plays his friend Woodstock. Brian Backer, who went onto great success a year later in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, plays the third friend Alfred. You actually care about these guys, the screenplays helps to build some of that, by creating an obstacle in the form of a camp bully. Most everyone in this film comes across as real, even the councilors, more than just their stock nerd, jock, hottie, etc. stereotypes; so when they die, it actually hurts a bit. You'll also see Holly Hunter, show up in a brief role.

After seeing this, I immediately moved it to near the top of my 80's slasher flicks list. I'd place it below Halloween and Sleepaway Camp, but above the original Friday the 13th, and way above most of the other copycats. I'm extremely surprised that this film didn't find more success in its original release, or on video in the years since. I've never heard it mention as part of this genre, let alone as one of the best. Where's the love for The Burning? If you're a fan of horror films, do yourself a favor and see it. - Grade: B+ (Seen on 6/21/08)

The film moves along very slowly for an exploitation flick, featuring a homicidal hotel owner, a man-eating-croc and very young Robert Englund visiting a brothel. There is no tension built, each murder is telegraphed minutes in advance. Instead of suggesting the violence, like in he did in TCM, they try to make the film gory. But it's so fake looking, thick, syrupy, way-too-red blood, that you can't take it seriously. And this is a film that wants to be taken seriously. It doesn't have much humor too it; except for some of the lines that hotel owner Judd throws out. There's an extended chase scene through the woods, featuring TCM actress Marylin Burns, that feels way too familiar. Almost half the film takes place on the front porch of the hotel, where there's a neon-red sign, so most the film is bathed in a red glow, which grows tiresome.

The film's not a total waste. Robert Englund, in one of his very first roles, plays a red-neck who really enjoys the company of young women, it's fun to see him stretch those early actor muscles. The man-eating crocodile is fun for a couple scenes, they do the smart thing, and keep it mostly hidden under the water, only suggesting at it's ferocity. But ultimately there's too much of Judd, wandering around his hotel, muttering to himself, every so often lashing out at his guests with a sickle. There's a fairly lame subplot about a father and daughter looking for sister, who got killed in the first scene, the two characters are boring and drag down every scene they're in. If you're into ultra-low-budget 70's horror films, you could do worse, otherwise don't bother. - Grade: C- (Seen on 6/15/08)

I watched Howling II not too long ago, but I don't think I've seen the original Howling since I was a kid, and it didn't leave much of an impact on me. My favorite werewolf film has always been An American Werewolf in London. But I'm surprised that I didn't remember The Howling more fondly. It turned out to be the 2nd best werewolf film I've ever seen. Which isn't saying a whole lot, since Hollywood has a hard-on for vampires instead, and we're lucky if we see a werewolf movie every 10 years.

The film has a great pedigree; it's directed by Joe Dante, who's made some great B-movies in his time, Gremlins, being the best of them. The screenplay was written by John Sayles, who is a very well respected filmmaker in his own right. The great Dee Wallace, who seemed to pop up as the innocent woman in half of the 80's horror flicks. And it's chalk full of great character actors, including Slim Pickens, Kevin McCarthy, John Carradine and Robert Picardo, among others. So all the right ingredients are there to make a great film. They manage to cook it up just about right, and create a pretty great horror film, with just the right amount of humor, to make this ridiculous idea go down a bit smoother.

At the beginning of the film, Karen White (Dee Wallace) an investigative reporter, has a run in with a killer at an old-school Times Square sex shop. Afterwards, she can't remember exactly what happened, but is having horrible dreams, and is struggling to get through every day life. A well respected psychologist, sends her and her husband out to one of his remote retreats, to get away from it all, where she can focus more on herself. Unknown to her, is that she's being sent to werewolf haven, and soon her husband is bitten on the arm, and before you know it he's mating with another werewolf and howling at the moon. Soon she's running for her life, as the whole camp is overrun by werewolves.

The changes these werewolves go through are the most impressive I've seen this side of American Werewolf, and it's no surprise, as the creator of those effects, Rick Baker, along with Rob Bottin, had a hand in these as well. In the clip I posted below, you'll see possibly the longest and most detailed transformation ever created. It gives a true depth to these monster. That, along with the strong acting, direction and screenplay, The Howling makes you believe that werewolves can exist. There are a couple cheesy moments, and the film drags slightly at times, but overall it is top-of-the-line when it comes to 80's horror films. They really don't put this much care into making them anymore. - Grade: B (Seen on 6/6/08)

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